Number Five
Another heartbeat has awakened.
I am again amazed at how something so very small can affect our lives so deeply. The moment I confirmed it I was frozen, shocked, not quiet believing. I wanted desperately to be happy and thankful. But I feel like I'm not ready..I thought I wouldn't have any more children...I'm not done babying Savannah (now 2.5 years). All of these selfish thoughts reeling through my head. Shame on me.
I AM thankful, and blessed. Especially when I think of friends who want to become pregnant, and aren't yet. When I think of friends who have lost their babies. When I think of those who can't, or won't, ever have children of their own.
I'm just a planner. And this wasn't planned. My whirlwind of a month was sort of settling down...and I thought I would soon have things under control. That was my problem. I need to realize ("practice what I preach" is probably more accurate) that I am not in control...
And the Lord has reminded me of that in the most beautiful way...
If my calculations are correct, baby is due around July 1, 2009.
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13 comments:
Congrats! I imagine I would feel the same way, immensely blessed and maybe more than a little shocked.
Very happy for you Staci!
This baby will be blessed to have you for a mamma. As are your four other kids.
YOu are an incredible example!
Praying for you, Love you
Em
Michelle,
Guess it's your turn, since our girls are the same age.. :D
Staci
Emma,
You are waaaay too kind. And maybe a little biased. :)
Staci
Ummm.. No! You're just the best!
:D
Oh how exciting! I felt those conflicted thoughts about Gray- he just turned 3 after Ivy was born, but it has been AMAZING and I am sure will be for you, too!
Steph
oh goodness Staci... I still have occasional hankerings for one more, I've always wanted four BUT... with life the way it is right now I just wouldn't intentionally plan another. Dh wanted to stop at two so having a third was a concession on his part!
But we haven't done anything permanent, so there is always that possibility of a surprise like yours.
Following your blog through HisMidwives...Congratulations! I think this is an exceptionally fertile month. It seems half of Indiana is due in July.
Steph,
Thank you for the baby wishes.. I am getting pretty excited.. :)
Staci
Penny,
Maybe it's something in the water.. :D
Do you have a blog, or midwifery website? I would love to peek..
Staci
Congratulations on the precious blessing! Praying for you!
wow your amazing. god has blessed you again. we r still tring for number three. from you old friend renee
Oh, how exciting! I felt the same way about my relationship with Eliana, and it has been an adjustment, but comes with so much sweetness, too.
Congratulations!!!!
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