Monday, November 10, 2008

Number Five

Another heartbeat has awakened.

I am again amazed at how something so very small can affect our lives so deeply. The moment I confirmed it I was frozen, shocked, not quiet believing. I wanted desperately to be happy and thankful. But I feel like I'm not ready..I thought I wouldn't have any more children...I'm not done babying Savannah (now 2.5 years). All of these selfish thoughts reeling through my head. Shame on me.

I AM thankful, and blessed. Especially when I think of friends who want to become pregnant, and aren't yet. When I think of friends who have lost their babies. When I think of those who can't, or won't, ever have children of their own.

I'm just a planner. And this wasn't planned. My whirlwind of a month was sort of settling down...and I thought I would soon have things under control. That was my problem. I need to realize ("practice what I preach" is probably more accurate) that I am not in control...

And the Lord has reminded me of that in the most beautiful way...

If my calculations are correct, baby is due around July 1, 2009.


Michelle said...

Congrats! I imagine I would feel the same way, immensely blessed and maybe more than a little shocked.

Em said...

Very happy for you Staci!

This baby will be blessed to have you for a mamma. As are your four other kids.
YOu are an incredible example!

Praying for you, Love you


Staci said...


Guess it's your turn, since our girls are the same age.. :D


Staci said...


You are waaaay too kind. And maybe a little biased. :)


Em said...

Ummm.. No! You're just the best!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh how exciting! I felt those conflicted thoughts about Gray- he just turned 3 after Ivy was born, but it has been AMAZING and I am sure will be for you, too!


Michelle said...

oh goodness Staci... I still have occasional hankerings for one more, I've always wanted four BUT... with life the way it is right now I just wouldn't intentionally plan another. Dh wanted to stop at two so having a third was a concession on his part!

But we haven't done anything permanent, so there is always that possibility of a surprise like yours.

Penny Lane said...

Following your blog through HisMidwives...Congratulations! I think this is an exceptionally fertile month. It seems half of Indiana is due in July.

Staci said...


Thank you for the baby wishes.. I am getting pretty excited.. :)


Staci said...


Maybe it's something in the water.. :D

Do you have a blog, or midwifery website? I would love to peek..


Christine said...

Congratulations on the precious blessing! Praying for you!

Anonymous said...

wow your amazing. god has blessed you again. we r still tring for number three. from you old friend renee

Elise said...

Oh, how exciting! I felt the same way about my relationship with Eliana, and it has been an adjustment, but comes with so much sweetness, too.